How Much Would You Pay For Love?

Matchmaker, matchmaker!   

I caught an article on MSNBC a few weeks ago about a modern day matchmaker who will find a great catch for you...... for the bargain basement price of $250,000!

$250,000?  Um....  I think I'd rather be alone.  But the 250 grand is the top price that men will pay if they use the services of the named matchmaker, Janis Spindel.  Her charge ranges from $100,000 to $250,000:  The article states that the more you pay, the more time Ms. Spindel will spend with you, and she will hook you up arrange for you to meet more desirable females.  It's not clear, however, what kind of "less desirable" woman you might get for the cut rate price of a measly $100K.  Perhaps women who didn't go to Ivy League schools and aren't heiresses or business owners?  Perhaps women who are not models?  (The article doesn't specify.)

Really Special...  Really..

Of course, you men out there have to be really, really special to use the services of Ms. Spindel:  You've got to be well educated, well-groomed; you need to be some kind of "upscale professional" and  you need to be targeting "commitment", as Ms. Spindel is NOT interested in hooking up people for one night stands or fun "on the side".  (I wonder how she checks.)

The article quotes a 48 year-old man named Jeff  who claimed that he was "ready for marriage and was tired of the dating game."   He explains, “I could forgive myself for spending the money and not finding someone, but I’d be less forgiving if I didn’t take a chance on what’s really important — a great relationship and family,” he told TODAY.com.   He says that it worked; he is now married and he and his wife are expecting their first child. The article doesn't really go into Spindel's techniques for matching people...  I remember computer dating, in fact, we just watched an old Perry Mason in which dozens of punched cards were being run through a machine by some kind of computer dating scheme.  I would hope that Ms. Spindel's techniques are a bit more...  sophisticated.

Women!  Jump into the Pool!  

The dating pool, that is.

Ms. Spindel does work with women, and, even though they don't need to cough up as much change as the men, they still need to present themselves well... very well.  If you are interested in one of these top notch, well-groomed men, you've got to write a long bio, you need to read her books, you need to fill out a questionnaire and attend a $250 "meet-and-greet".  If you aren't sure if you are coming off well, you can get coaching from Ms. Spindel for $1000 for a 30 minute session.   (I would hope that you would get more information than that you need to lose ten pounds.  But maybe she doesn't take women who need to lose ten pounds.)  

Spindel, according to the article, is "internationally known" and claims that she has 994 marriages to her credit.  She does not guarantee a visit from the Love Bunny, only 12 introductions over 12 months.   Even without a guarantee to find love, Jeff was willing to shell out six figures.

So.. If you have a spare $250,000 hanging around, gents, you may yet find a special lady for Valentine's Day!

Gifts and Shoes..

In the meantime, if you have a special someone, here are a few ideas for gifts:   



Or the brightly colored crystal necklaces at Dorota's Jewelry:

Dorota's Jewelry: My Valentine's Day Wish List

And, ladies, if you have a special someone and are going to someplace special for Valentine's Day, you may need a special, Valentine's colored pair of shoes.  Here are a few ideas: 

My Valentine's Day Wish List (Updated for 2014)

Counting down to Valentine's Day:  15 Days of Love.

(Note for 2014: Dorota has 322 items at her etsy shop right nowis 

Swarovski Crystal hearts and Icicles for Valentine's Day.. and all year round!
(Note for 2014: Though I wrote this last year, Dorota has 322 items at her etsy shop right now, most with the Swarovski crystals and Czech glass of the items featured here.) 

Dorota's Blue Purple Heart Necklace

I first found Dorota's Jewelry, at etsy.com over a year ago, and the items always take my breath away.  I hope that you will have the same reaction.  Prices, buying, and shipping information at the links.  (And most of these items are remarkably reasonably priced.)  

Dorota, the shop owner, writes:

I.. was born and raised in Krakow, Poland. From a young age, my appreciation for arts and craftsmanship was influenced by my mother, an antique restorer and a painter, and by the enchantments of my hometown....  Filled with breathtaking medieval architecture, Krakow is a city so bewitching and so rich in art and history, that large portions have been named World Heritage Sites by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultured Organization (UNESCO).

I spent many years studying about gems and learning the delicate trade of bringing them together to create balanced and beautiful jewelry. Since the mid 1990s, I have sold many of my creations in boutiques across Europe as well as the United States, and now they are available to you from this online gallery.

So, from Dorota's Jewelry, here are SOME of my Valentine's Day favorites for Day 15 of 15 Days of Love: 

Ruby Crystal Earrings with Raspberry Swarovski Crystal Cranberry and Antique Gold Icicle: (Necklace on this picture is sold separately.)

"Eye-pleasing, refreshing blend of eco-chic and sparkling elegance with a touch of vintage flair!

- 14K Gold Filled (not plated!), handcrafted ear-wires

- Top Quality Antique Gold Brass Victorian Style bead caps, all nickel and lead safe - hypoallergenic!

- Large Swarovski faceted crystal teardrops in in Ruby Red/Pink, 40mm x 11mm

- Czech Crystals in Cranberry, 3mm"

Red Purple Heart Necklace of RARE Swarovski Plum Ruby Crystal Heart & Sterling Silver:

"Make an entrance with this amazing and dynamic and RARE Swarovski Crystal Heart Necklace. Precision facets and brilliantly flashing purple, amber, copper and pink sparkles create stunning elegance that is truly unforgettable.. The picture truly does not do it justice :)

- ALL Sterling Silver (1.4mm Double Rope Chain, lobster claw clasp and fancy jump-ring bail) 

- Brilliant, Faceted Swarovski Heart in Brandy Purple (RARE!), 18x17.5mm. The crystals change colors at each angle -- from brilliant amber browns & fiery oranges to alluring rose pinks & eggplant purples. A special coating is applied over half the bead which creates a metallic play of color on the outside, and amazing depth and flash inside the crystal. When looking down into the stone, you will see a kaleidoscope effect. It makes these crystals so unusual and multi-dimensional. Because of its unique features, this crystal is impossible to capture in a photograph. It can only truly be appreciated in person."

Pink Heart Drop Earrings with Swarovski Pink Crystal & Sterling Silver for Valentines Day:

"So Feminine and Elegant!

- ALL Sterling Silver including gorgeous detailed roses and fleur de lis lever back ear-wires

- Faceted Swarovski Wild Hearts in Indian Pink, 12mm. These brilliant crystals features an elongated shape and asymmetric faceting for an innovative interpretation of the classic heart.

- The earrings are approx. 1 1/2" (40mm) long"

Ruby Red Heart Pendant Necklace of Sterling Silver and Swarovski Garnet Crystal:

"Make an entrance with this amazing and dynamic Swarovski Crystal Necklace. Precision facets create stunning elegance that is truly unforgettable. The picture truly does not do it justice :)

- ALL Sterling Silver (diamond cut double-sided heart, elegant 1.6mm Ripple Shape Chain, ring bail, wire and lobster claw clasp)

- Faceted Crystal Passions, Swarovski Crystal in Deep Ruby/Siam Red Aurora Borealis, 18mm

- Czech Crystals in Antique Clear/Red, 3mm

- The necklace is approx. 17" PLUS 1" extension"

I could post Dorota's beautiful crystal jewelry all night here, but she has over 400 items listed at her shop.  Hurry over there and find YOUR favorites! 

Fifteen Days of Love: Valentine's Day Is Coming!

Fifteen days from now we'll all be celebrating (or ignoring) the great yearly festival of flowers, flutters, pink, purple, hearts, and heartaches known as Valentine's Day.

Join us every day from now until then as we explore the myths, the misery, the facts, the fantasy, and the weirdness of  Love.  Gifts, decorations, clothing, food are all a part of the fun, so don't miss any of it.

Dorota's Amber Purple Heart Earrings

Counting down the days... Watch for new links every day!

• Day 15 (January 31st):  Love for $250,000... But it's not guaranteed?
  
  My Valentine's Day Favorites: Dorota's Jewelry
• Day 14 (February 1st):  Thoughts after watching Casablanca:  Can you love two people?
• Day 13 (February 2nd):  Celebrate Valentine's Day by Cooking.. Together.
• Day 12 (February 3rd):  Spanking:  Can you live with it?  Can you live without it?
• Day 11 (February 4th):  Thirty Days of Love:  A Worldly Way of Celebrating Love and Valentine's Day.
• Day 10 (February 5th):  Celebrating anti-Valentine's Day.. or Not!
• Day 9 (February 6th):  I Hate Valentine's Day!
• Day 8 (February 7th):  Starting a Romance: One Rose or a Dozen?
• Day 7 (February 8th):
• Day 6 (February 9th):
• Day 5 (February 10th):
• Day 4 (February 11th):
• Day 3 (February 12th):  Valentine's Day Around the World
• Day 2 (February 13th):
• Day 1 Valentine's Day is Here! (February 14th):

Valentine's Day Display

Valentine's Day Presentation is Everything!

Valentine's Day doesn't have to be expensive or ostentatious (though I did see the cutest red heart necklace with red heart stud earrings today!... not that expensive either!)

For years, we had a "display" table... just a small table that sat up against the wall. I would decorate it for V-day, and we'd put our presents there.

Here's what I did: I'd start with handmade hearts that I'd save from year to year. I'd tape them around the edge of the table. I'd put a strand of Valentine's Day lights around the edge of the table. Then I'd take bags from the Valentine's Days of the past, and I'd open them and put them on the back of the table.. for color and texture. I also have a few red heart candle and heart-shaped ornaments that I'd put on the table. On the wall behind the table, I'd tape past Valentine's Day cards.

The center of the table was open for gifts and flowers from this year. Always pretty! I wouldn't put the display up until the afternoon of Valentine's Day.. unlike Christmas decorations, Valentine's Day decorations pop up on the day itself.

A lovely display makes even simple gifts (a little candy or treats, flowers, and perhaps a small gift) seem particularly festive and wonderful.

The picture above was taken with a cell phone a couple of years ago.. not the greatest quality, but you get the idea.

Valentine's Day Gifts for my Boyfriend? (Updated for 2013)

What should I get for my boyfriend at Valentine's?

Love in a Grain of Sand (from Beautiful Engineering at Facebook)

This question is the most popular question we've received, much more popular that the inverse: What do I get my girlfriend for Valentine's?

So let me assure you that you should plan on doing something (or getting something) for your boyfriend at Valentine's Day. But the watchwords are: Keep it cute or funny, keep it simple, and personalize it.

Cute Valentine's Gift

Cute? A teddy bear or stuffed animal? I really don't think so, though something small and related to who he is is acceptable: A stuffed animal that represents a nickname, the name of a team that he plays for, or a team that he roots for.

A bone or chew toy for his dog? Catnip for his cat? (Just a cute add-on gift there.)

A cute or funny not-too-mushy card is probably best.  It would be even better if you could make a cute card.  Just cut out a heart shape out of an old painting or even gift wrap and write something cute and simple on it.

A small novelty gift that is perfect for him would also be a good choice. One of my boyfriend's favorite gifts was a silly little punching bag (just a few inches high) that sang out expletives and insults when somebody punched at it. He thought it was hilarious.

Simple Valentine's Day Gift

Simple? Cookies, candy, a home-cooked meal, a bottle of wine (if you are old enough)is simple. Maybe music, a favorite movie, or even a book? Try baking cupcakes or cookies or a whole cake for him!

Or.. get him some penny candy!

A Personal Valentine's Day Gift

Personalize it? Something he's mentioned that he would really like.. if it is in your budget. I bought my boyfriend a police scanner radio one Valentine's Day. He had mentioned it and obviously wanted it but he didn't want to buy it for himself.

I once bought him a bottle of "Red Truck" wine. The label was very cute, and he had just finished a project at work that involved red trucks.

And a handmade card.. or some handmade decorations:

Make a "display" in a corner of your (or his) home: Clean off a small table, put a fabric covering or tablecloth over it, place the gift and the unopened card on the table, perhaps even a small vase of flowers, and sprinkle about small paper hearts, perhaps some red lights... and the candies or cookies. I also save last year's Valentine's Day cards, and I tape them up behind the display. (Of course, you wouldn't do that if you were with somebody else last Valentine's Day.. that would be tacky!)

(I'm writing a separate blog entry about Valentine's Day displays, so more later on that!)

Just for the record, here is a picture of that bottle of red truck wine... The quality is poor as the pic was taken with a cell phone:

To summarize:

One or two small gifts, something cute or something he has specifically mentioned that he wants, something to eat, and remember the presentation! Always add a personal touch to something! He'll think you are great and he won't feel overwhelmed.

Keep it simple!

I Hate Valentine's Day! (Updated for 2018)

"Why does anybody care about Valentine's Day at all? Isn't it just a way for card companies, florists, and candy stores to make money? Then I get to see all of the happy, smiling couples.. Grrrrr.. I hate Valentine's Day."

Many people are asking this.. and it's a good question. Why bother with Valentine's Day? And the expectations!!

I love this one, cynical though it may be.

I've lived through plenty of Valentine's Days, some good, some bad. Some with a special someone and some with no special someone. A few years back, my special someone (now my husband) was purchasing flowers for me when he got a call that his business had been robbed by a gunman who terrorized his employees. Needless to say, our special Valentine's Day celebration was a wash, as he didn't get back home until the wee hours of the morning.

So why do I like Valentine's Day... no matter what is happening?

1. It is a celebration of hope. Even if there is no special someone now, there may be next year.. or the year after. And the weather is warmer, the days a little longer, if you live north of the equator... There's only one more month of snow, not two or three! All reasons to feel hopeful!

2. It is a celebration of all kinds of love. You don't have to have a romantic partner to enjoy Valentine's Day... You can express the love you feel towards your parents, your friends, your kids, even your coworkers. Bake cookies, bring in chocolate kisses, smile, and wear something red!!

3. It is really a good time for a celebration. Christmas and Hanukkah are almost two months in the past, springtime is not yet here, Easter and Passover are still in the distant future. And it's still cold! Time to celebrate! And the red/pink of Valentine's Day is a hot color! It makes you think of things that are warm and fun.. not cold and dismal.

4. It's always more fun to join in a celebration.. even if you just share a few smiles with passersby or indulge in a chocolate heart. You don't have to spend a lot of money if you don't want to. You don't have to have a date. Just enjoy the day!

5. The best reason: You can always love yourself! If you have nobody to spend Valentine's Day with, do something special for you. After all, dates and partners come and go.. but the only person that you will spend every Valentine's Day of your life with is... YOU! So, if you don't have a special someone and your friends and family are far away, do something nice just for YOU. Indulge yourself a little! A special treat.. buy yourself something that you would normally not.  If you're a guy, get yourself a steak or a lobster (if that's your thing). For men or women, dig out a recipe for some special cookie that you ate when you were a kid and bake yourself cookies or brownies. For women, take a bubble bath. Do nothing!! Watch old movies on t.v.!  This year watch the Olympics!

Enjoy selfless love:  Visit an old friend or relative who is in a nursing home.  Call someone (a brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin) who meant a lot to you in the past and just say hi.

But make the day a real celebration of love that should exist (on some level) among and between all of us.     

I'll repeat: Love yourself!

Heart-Shaped Meat Loaf for Lovers (Updated for 2018)

Heart-Shaped Meat Loaf for Lovers

As promised, my meat loaf recipe, specially modified for Valentine's Day:

1. Two pounds ground beef, 75% to 80% lean. (Not too lean; meatloaf should be juicy.)

2. Mix the ground beef with one cup bread crumbs. (I like these Italian style breadcrumbs or these... or these.)

Add two eggs... work through with your hands.

Cooking for your Sweetie on Valentine's Day? (Updated for 2018)

Home-cooked Valentine's Day Dinner!

I've never been a big one for Valentine's Day restaurant dinners.... too crowded, over-priced, sometimes the service isn't that great.. and the Valentine's Day dinner specials might not be that wonderful either. So... He'll bring me flowers (and maybe some candy), and I'll cook.

Now maybe your man (or your lady) would prefer lobster, shrimp, or steak for a special Valentine's Day meal? If so, get the best ingredients and learn how to prepare these foods without ruining them. But I won't be of any help to you here. Because my Valentine's Day special meals are much simpler.....

Heart-shaped meat loaf ready to go in the oven.

Real hearty man fare: Heart-shaped meatloaf or lasagne with a heart on top. (Check back for the lasagne recipe... and then add red velvet cake for dessert!)

So for those of you are interested in the simpler pleasures of life.. I'll post my simple recipes... all ingredients are approximate... just season to taste!

Red Hot Valentine's Day Shoe

A Red Satin shoe!

(Note as of February 2018:  This shoe is no longer available.)  Valentine's Day shoes need to be red and they need to be hot. I know that there are a lot of men out there who couldn't care less if their woman was wearing red hot shoes on Valentine's Day. I know there are plenty of hot women out there who wouldn't be caught dead in red hot shoes either. In fact, in a few days, I'll feature unhot red Valentine's Day shoes.

But today I will feature my current favorite red hot shoe. At this point in time it is merely a dream shoe, as I haven't yet bought it. But there are still ten days left before Valentine's Day... plenty of time to order this shoe from Zappos!

Here it is:

DeSoto shoe from Nina (No longer available)

I love, love, love this shoe, which Nine West has named DeSoto. It oozes with class and sex appeal. This shoe comes in other colors, but the red satin version is the only one that excites me, and, of course, the only one that makes the cut at Valentine's Day. The shoe has a very art deco look with the pleated red satin, hence the DeSoto name. I can imagine wearing it with a simple black skirt or pants and a simple white blouse. A touch of something else red.. a bracelet, necklace or earrings, and the outfit is perfectly coordinated for a Valentine's Day to remember.

I know it only feels like a 3 inch heel because it has a 1 inch platform, but those three inches would still be a struggle for me. I'd have to make sure I have a handbag that's large enough to hold a pair of flats if I ventured forth wearing this glorious DeSoto shoe.

So.. is it only me? Anybody else out there (men or women) who think this shoe is smokin' hot?

Her Valentine's Day Problem (Updated for 2018)

A Valentine's dilemma from the woman's point of view

Q. Hi..

I met a new man at a holiday party. He and I have started to see each other every week. I like him, but I'm concerned that he likes me more than I like him. I know he would like to do a fancy Valentine's celebration, but I'm not sure this is right for us. We haven't been together very long at all.

Wondering....

A. O...kay.......

I sense something else in your question, wondering. You like him, but perhaps you don't feel very romantically inclined to him? You've known him for a few weeks now, but are you concerned that you will feel "obligated" if he rolls out the red carpet on this, your first Valentine's Day together?

Well.. the best thing to do is to talk with him about it. Make it clear that you've only been dating since the holidays, and you think a small celebration is best. You'd rather not get all dressed up for a fancy place... maybe next year for that! Suggest to him how you would like to spend Valentine's Day... If he is a good guy, he will understand and respect your wishes.

We can wonder ourselves in to a tizzy. So don't guess; talk to him!

... and have a great Valentine's Day!! Sometimes those feelings will grow.