Valentine's Day Gifts for my Boyfriend? (Updated for 2013)

What should I get for my boyfriend at Valentine's?

Love in a Grain of Sand (from Beautiful Engineering at Facebook)

This question is the most popular question we've received, much more popular that the inverse: What do I get my girlfriend for Valentine's?

So let me assure you that you should plan on doing something (or getting something) for your boyfriend at Valentine's Day. But the watchwords are: Keep it cute or funny, keep it simple, and personalize it.

Cute Valentine's Gift

Cute? A teddy bear or stuffed animal? I really don't think so, though something small and related to who he is is acceptable: A stuffed animal that represents a nickname, the name of a team that he plays for, or a team that he roots for.

A bone or chew toy for his dog? Catnip for his cat? (Just a cute add-on gift there.)

A cute or funny not-too-mushy card is probably best.  It would be even better if you could make a cute card.  Just cut out a heart shape out of an old painting or even gift wrap and write something cute and simple on it.

A small novelty gift that is perfect for him would also be a good choice. One of my boyfriend's favorite gifts was a silly little punching bag (just a few inches high) that sang out expletives and insults when somebody punched at it. He thought it was hilarious.

Simple Valentine's Day Gift

Simple? Cookies, candy, a home-cooked meal, a bottle of wine (if you are old enough)is simple. Maybe music, a favorite movie, or even a book? Try baking cupcakes or cookies or a whole cake for him!

Or.. get him some penny candy!

A Personal Valentine's Day Gift

Personalize it? Something he's mentioned that he would really like.. if it is in your budget. I bought my boyfriend a police scanner radio one Valentine's Day. He had mentioned it and obviously wanted it but he didn't want to buy it for himself.

I once bought him a bottle of "Red Truck" wine. The label was very cute, and he had just finished a project at work that involved red trucks.

And a handmade card.. or some handmade decorations:

Make a "display" in a corner of your (or his) home: Clean off a small table, put a fabric covering or tablecloth over it, place the gift and the unopened card on the table, perhaps even a small vase of flowers, and sprinkle about small paper hearts, perhaps some red lights... and the candies or cookies. I also save last year's Valentine's Day cards, and I tape them up behind the display. (Of course, you wouldn't do that if you were with somebody else last Valentine's Day.. that would be tacky!)

(I'm writing a separate blog entry about Valentine's Day displays, so more later on that!)

Just for the record, here is a picture of that bottle of red truck wine... The quality is poor as the pic was taken with a cell phone:

To summarize:

One or two small gifts, something cute or something he has specifically mentioned that he wants, something to eat, and remember the presentation! Always add a personal touch to something! He'll think you are great and he won't feel overwhelmed.

Keep it simple!

I Hate Valentine's Day! (Updated for 2018)

"Why does anybody care about Valentine's Day at all? Isn't it just a way for card companies, florists, and candy stores to make money? Then I get to see all of the happy, smiling couples.. Grrrrr.. I hate Valentine's Day."

Many people are asking this.. and it's a good question. Why bother with Valentine's Day? And the expectations!!

I love this one, cynical though it may be.

I've lived through plenty of Valentine's Days, some good, some bad. Some with a special someone and some with no special someone. A few years back, my special someone (now my husband) was purchasing flowers for me when he got a call that his business had been robbed by a gunman who terrorized his employees. Needless to say, our special Valentine's Day celebration was a wash, as he didn't get back home until the wee hours of the morning.

So why do I like Valentine's Day... no matter what is happening?

1. It is a celebration of hope. Even if there is no special someone now, there may be next year.. or the year after. And the weather is warmer, the days a little longer, if you live north of the equator... There's only one more month of snow, not two or three! All reasons to feel hopeful!

2. It is a celebration of all kinds of love. You don't have to have a romantic partner to enjoy Valentine's Day... You can express the love you feel towards your parents, your friends, your kids, even your coworkers. Bake cookies, bring in chocolate kisses, smile, and wear something red!!

3. It is really a good time for a celebration. Christmas and Hanukkah are almost two months in the past, springtime is not yet here, Easter and Passover are still in the distant future. And it's still cold! Time to celebrate! And the red/pink of Valentine's Day is a hot color! It makes you think of things that are warm and fun.. not cold and dismal.

4. It's always more fun to join in a celebration.. even if you just share a few smiles with passersby or indulge in a chocolate heart. You don't have to spend a lot of money if you don't want to. You don't have to have a date. Just enjoy the day!

5. The best reason: You can always love yourself! If you have nobody to spend Valentine's Day with, do something special for you. After all, dates and partners come and go.. but the only person that you will spend every Valentine's Day of your life with is... YOU! So, if you don't have a special someone and your friends and family are far away, do something nice just for YOU. Indulge yourself a little! A special treat.. buy yourself something that you would normally not.  If you're a guy, get yourself a steak or a lobster (if that's your thing). For men or women, dig out a recipe for some special cookie that you ate when you were a kid and bake yourself cookies or brownies. For women, take a bubble bath. Do nothing!! Watch old movies on t.v.!  This year watch the Olympics!

Enjoy selfless love:  Visit an old friend or relative who is in a nursing home.  Call someone (a brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin) who meant a lot to you in the past and just say hi.

But make the day a real celebration of love that should exist (on some level) among and between all of us.     

I'll repeat: Love yourself!

Heart-Shaped Meat Loaf for Lovers (Updated for 2018)

Heart-Shaped Meat Loaf for Lovers

As promised, my meat loaf recipe, specially modified for Valentine's Day:

1. Two pounds ground beef, 75% to 80% lean. (Not too lean; meatloaf should be juicy.)

2. Mix the ground beef with one cup bread crumbs. (I like these Italian style breadcrumbs or these... or these.)

Add two eggs... work through with your hands.

Red Hot Valentine's Day Shoe

A Red Satin shoe!

(Note as of February 2018:  This shoe is no longer available.)  Valentine's Day shoes need to be red and they need to be hot. I know that there are a lot of men out there who couldn't care less if their woman was wearing red hot shoes on Valentine's Day. I know there are plenty of hot women out there who wouldn't be caught dead in red hot shoes either. In fact, in a few days, I'll feature unhot red Valentine's Day shoes.

But today I will feature my current favorite red hot shoe. At this point in time it is merely a dream shoe, as I haven't yet bought it. But there are still ten days left before Valentine's Day... plenty of time to order this shoe from Zappos!

Here it is:

DeSoto shoe from Nina (No longer available)

I love, love, love this shoe, which Nine West has named DeSoto. It oozes with class and sex appeal. This shoe comes in other colors, but the red satin version is the only one that excites me, and, of course, the only one that makes the cut at Valentine's Day. The shoe has a very art deco look with the pleated red satin, hence the DeSoto name. I can imagine wearing it with a simple black skirt or pants and a simple white blouse. A touch of something else red.. a bracelet, necklace or earrings, and the outfit is perfectly coordinated for a Valentine's Day to remember.

I know it only feels like a 3 inch heel because it has a 1 inch platform, but those three inches would still be a struggle for me. I'd have to make sure I have a handbag that's large enough to hold a pair of flats if I ventured forth wearing this glorious DeSoto shoe.

So.. is it only me? Anybody else out there (men or women) who think this shoe is smokin' hot?

Her Valentine's Day Problem (Updated for 2018)

A Valentine's dilemma from the woman's point of view

Q. Hi..

I met a new man at a holiday party. He and I have started to see each other every week. I like him, but I'm concerned that he likes me more than I like him. I know he would like to do a fancy Valentine's celebration, but I'm not sure this is right for us. We haven't been together very long at all.

Wondering....

A. O...kay.......

I sense something else in your question, wondering. You like him, but perhaps you don't feel very romantically inclined to him? You've known him for a few weeks now, but are you concerned that you will feel "obligated" if he rolls out the red carpet on this, your first Valentine's Day together?

Well.. the best thing to do is to talk with him about it. Make it clear that you've only been dating since the holidays, and you think a small celebration is best. You'd rather not get all dressed up for a fancy place... maybe next year for that! Suggest to him how you would like to spend Valentine's Day... If he is a good guy, he will understand and respect your wishes.

We can wonder ourselves in to a tizzy. So don't guess; talk to him!

... and have a great Valentine's Day!! Sometimes those feelings will grow.

Who Was Saint Valentine anyway? (Updated for 2018)

Many of us may have heard the story of St.Valentine's in Sunday school or even in grade school, but who still remembers the story?

Well, don't worry too much about it.. There's a good chance that the Patron Saint of Lovers never existed anyway.... Or, if he did exist, he had nothing to do with lovers or February 14th.

Valentine depicted in woodcut dating to the 15th century, many centuries after he was to have lived.

The feast of St. Valentine was not established until 496 by that well-known pontiff Pope Gelasius I. (Nope, I'd never heard of him either.) St. Valentine was either a Roman priest, a bishop in Terni (an early Italian city about 100 miles north of Rome), or a martyr somewhere in the Roman African provinces. He was not pictured until 1493 when he appeared in a woodcut in an early book of world history named The Nuremberg Chronicle. The text alongside the woodcut claims he was a Roman priest martyred during the reign of Claudius II (AD 268-270).

We don't know what is truth and what is legend.

Whatever the true story, somewhere along the way, the name of Valentine became involved with all of this Love Stuff. We really don't know what is truth and what is legend.

The story is that Emperor Claudius was persecuting Christians in Rome, and that anyone caught helping the Christians or marrying them was considered a criminal. The Christian Valentine was marrying Christians and he was caught. One version of the legend is that Claudius liked Valentine until Valentine tried to convert Claudius at which time Valentine was beheaded.

Another version says that Claudius felt that men made better soldiers if they were unmarried so he forbade any of his soldiers to marry. But Valentine married many soldiers to their sweethearts.. until he was caught. Another part of the legend is that Valentine restored sight to the blind daughter of his jailer while he was awaiting his death... and that, right before he went to his death, he sent her a note signed "From Your Valentine".  Others say that Valentine fell in love with the blind daughter and her sight wasn't restored until he was executed. 

Now, many people think that there wasn't any association between St. Valentine and love and romance until the time of Geoffrey Chaucer, and he really wasn't popularized as the "Patron Saint of Love" until the 17th century when he was mentioned in the popular "Lives of the Saints".

A Romantic Story

So we don't know who Valentine really was, nor do we know if he had anything to do with marriage, love, and those cute notes we call Valentine's Day cards. But it is a nice story, isn't it? The idea of people risking their lives to marry when forbidden to do so.... and the priest who helped them.

Would you risk your life to marry? Or... maybe we should put it like this: WHO would you risk your life to marry?

Valentine's Day Strikes Fear (Updated for 2018)

Valentine's Day strikes fear into the hearts of strong men everywhere.      

Let's just address this head on:

For many people, especially men but women too, there is nothing pleasant about planning Valentine's Day. They don't know what is expected of them; they feel that the wrong thing will be held against them; they feel that they don't have enough money to plan a "proper" Valentine's Day... and they are really tempted to break up with their girlfriend or pick a fight with their wife the week before Valentine's Day just to get out of the whole thing.

Here's a question from a reader:

Q: Hi Jo... It's almost Valentine's Day, and I'm a nervous wreck. I've been with my girlfriend for about six months now, and we are talking about moving in together. We are getting more serious by the day. But I panic around Valentine's Day! My ex-wife always seemed disappointed after Valentine's Day, and we usually fought afterwards. I thought that dinner and flowers was an acceptable way to spend Valentine's Day, but she seemed to want something more or "different"...... How do I guarantee that my new girlfriend will be satisfied without breaking the bank? And what do I do if she seems displeased?  ... Scared

These oxidized Copper Heart Brooches by Rough Magic were found at Etsy a few years back, but they appear to be unavailable now.  

Answer: Have you tried a hot air balloon ride? Or a train ride on the Orient Express? What about 4 carat pink diamond earrings? O.K., I'm joking. Let's be realistic here.


Scared, if she truly likes you for who you are and things are going well.. and she's a decent woman.... there isn't much you can do to screw up Valentine's Day.... except perhaps to forget the whole thing.

It would probably be best to talk to her well before the big day. Does she expect a big production? A dinner and flowers? If so, a fancy dinner? Maybe she dislikes the Valentine's Day dinner scene (as I do) and she's planning on cooking for you. But don't let things fester.. If she's as great as you think and hope she is, she will be happy to talk about her expectations and what might be reasonable. Don't let your experiences with your ex-wife color your experiences with this one. The ex may have been spoiled, demanding, and petty. Perhaps that's why she is an ex?

My sense is that, for most women, flowers, a bit of candy, and perhaps a small gift (according to your budget), are more than enough.

By the way, she should be doing something for you as well.. A small gift, your favorite candy, a home-cooked meal. Valentine's Day shouldn't be a one way street!